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(K.C. Undercover Title Theme plays, as a special for Tightrope of Doom. Scene opens to Federal Courthouse, The Organization vs Bob McCoy. K.C., Ernie, Kira, and Craig are sitting in court. Prosecutor Baker stands up from her bench.)
Baker Your Honor, the prosecution calls Agent #8433599.
(K.C. gets up and walks to the witness stand.)
Craig (to Kira) I feel like I should be walking her up there.
Kira Craig, she's testifying, not getting married.
Judge Do you swear the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
K.C. (holds up right hand) Yes, I do. One time I was on my porch when my neighbor, Mrs. Goldfeder, got dropped off after her date, and when they kissed, I didn't look away, I... I watched.
Judge I meant when... Prosecutor Baker starts asking you questions.
K.C. Oh, I knew that. (laughs) I just had to get that off my chest. (sits down)
Baker Agent, you were present at the Luffman Gallery when the theft took place?
K.C. Uh, yes. I was investigating a string of art thefts. I was accompanied by Agent #9487445, even though I was a bit concerned about his abilities; he can be a bit of a nimrod.
Ernie (stands up) I object! How dare you call me a nimrod? That is insulting, and the witness is clearly lying! I demand a mistrial! A mistrial!
K.C. Nobody even knew you were Agent #9487445 until you opened your big mouth!
Judge Objection overruled. Sorry, nimrod. (Ernie sits down) Please, continue.
K.C. Well, I went undercover to see if I could catch the thief in the act.
(Flashback to when K.C. and Ernie are undercover at the Luffman Gallery. K.C. has stiff raspberry hair and round glasses.)
K.C. I am Lola Fingers. (wiggles fingers) Artiste.
Ernie (wearing pinstripe suit, and talking in a New York accent) And I'm her manager, Tommy Lasorda. The artiste manager, not the baseball manager. He's a large white man and I'm a short black guy, with a penchant for turtlenecks.
Janice Your work is genius. As is your hair. (To K.C.)
K.C. Oh, well, my style is perpetually (freezes) "caught in a breeze" to remind me that life is always moving as must art! (walks up to empty wall) Oh, yes! This space is perfect! (places hands on it) It's bare. It's naked. (whispers to wall) I will cover your shame, naked wall... (shouts) with art!
Ernie (to Janice) She'll need total privacy. Her most creative hours are 2 to 5 a.m.
Janice You got it, Lola, but it would be (bows) an honor to come by and see you work.
(K.C. looks shocked)
Ernie Why wait? She can do one right now. Lola's known for her spontaneous paintings.
K.C. (giggles) Yes, (to Ernie) and I'm also known for firing my manager.
Ernie Come on, Lola! Do the one where you roll around in- why am I explaining when she can just show you? Lola?
K.C. Oh, no, no thank you, I'm just not feeling the muse right now.
Ernie Then let me help you feel it. (takes a bucket of blue paint and dumps it on K.C.'s back)
K.C. (laughs nervously) Oh, yes!
Ernie I'm not done, I'm not done. (takes bucket of yellow paint and dumps it on K.C.'s stomach)
K.C. Ohh, lovely! Ah, yes! Yes, I'm starting to feel it everywhere now! (leans on blank wall and rolls around on it, painting it blue and yellow) Yes! Lola, you've done it again!
Ernie Don't hold back! Rage is your medium!

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